Jobless: Is there even any hope?

I stood there wordlessly, inching my way through the unending mass of people. There must have been several hundred people crammed into less than two hundred square meters of mall area, interspersed with some twenty cubicles filled with various displays and banners. What madness is this you ask? What product could be so enticing that hundreds of otherwise sane people to participate in such a gathering, jostling for space and risking being elbowed, stepped on or maybe even pick pocketed? The answer was employment. That most important symptom of security that people crave especially in tough times such as these.

Yes, my friends, it is a job fair. Hopeful job-seekers from all over the capital converge upon this establishment in the commercial district and hope to find gainful opportunities in these otherwise difficult times. I am one of such hopefuls. Weaving amongst the crowd and perusing various company paraphernalia, I search for the perfect job for one of my skills.

Here's one, an engineering job, sounds promising. Oh, it's in Bulacan, a good three hours away from home. No thanks. Hmm, there's an opening in this Japanese company. Wait, I already applied for that a couple of months ago. How about a teaching job at some technical college? No thanks, there are better schools out there for me to teach at.

I chuckle at my own audacity. For someone who had been unemployed for a good six months now I was being extremely picky. How many job applications had I botched over the past six months? At least three that sounded promising. And for no apparent reason aside from the vague "I wouldn't like it there" or "It's not the right job for me." Sometimes I wonder what it is I really want.

Or maybe that's the problem. For someone who spent the last few years of his engineering studies whining about how he should have shifted to another course, I had no real idea about what it was I wanted to do. Well, no practical idea at least. I know I eventually want to work in interactive entertainment software (read: computer games), but that's not really a plausible option right now. Aside from that, nothing. I have no idea where to go or how to get there.

I know I need a job. Heaven knows I've sponged off my folks long enough. But what job? I look at the hordes of people applying for boring, everyday office jobs and I shake my head. I don't want to end up some office drone who can't break out of his routine. I don't want a job that is tedious and boring. I don't want to be some staff engineer doing the same things day in and day out. I want to learn, I want to be challenged, I want to expand my horizons. I want a job that's exciting, constantly unpredictable, a job where being unable to adapt can only cause disaster. I don't want a job that asks me to be tied down for two to three years. I hardly have enough attention span for a semester of classes, how could I stand being in the same job for several years? I don't want a job that's mundane, mediocre or ordinary. I want something different, something exciting, something that amazes people when they ask.

Maybe I'm being unrealistic or a bit too idealistic, as is common for me at times. But I remember one time when I asked one of the guys I went to college with what he was planning to do after his studies. He said something about joining a big company and rising up the corporate ladder. What kind of dream is that, to be someone else's employee? And this was someone who would later on graduate with honors! I would rather be self-employed, risking my own money on a venture that may or may not succeed. If you fail, then you try again. At least you rise and fall through your own decisions, your fate belongs to you, and not to some anonymous board of directors.

Alas, that's not possible for me right now, not when I don't have a shred of cash. And until I do, I am left with little choice but to undergo some mind-numbing mundanity of a job. Gainful employment is a necessary evil for now, so onward I march, ever searching for an ideal job that will tide me through until such time that I find the means to take my destiny into my own hands. My time will come, someday.

Snorks are underwater smurfs.

Hey, we have cable again! Okay, so we never actually _lost_ cable, but it felt like we had, back when the Star network withdrew its channels from Home Cable around six months ago. Now they're back, which means I once again get to watch Simpsons, Futurama and Whose Line Is It Anyway? =)

In other news, I'm still unemployed and cashless. =(

Someday we'll all look back and laugh.

So the ECE board exams are now over. Six months (okay three) of hard work and preparation (well alright, occasionally glancing at my books) and what do we get? A bunch of questions chosen seemingly at random. The Math and Electronics parts were good enough actually, and I felt pretty confident there. The second day was bad. The Communications exam might as well have been a random set of questions about cookie dough and displacer beasts. Me, Marc and Dennis went through at least a hundred questions in various topics an hour and a half before the exam but not one of the stuff we reviewed came out. Instead we're bombarded with questions about obscure standards and various laws. *Sigh*

Or maybe I'm just sour-graping because I didn't make the top ten [link broken]. Then again I was expecting at least Dennis to make it in, but no such luck. Are there any other UP studes in the top ten? I don't know, and I'm not sure I care anymore. Oh well, that's the breaks.

I finished Tales of Phantasia yesterday, finally. I must've been playing it for about half a year before I managed to finish it. Emulators are really bad for your attention span -- I've got a Seiken Densetsu game near the end but I haven't touched it for maybe a year now. Anyway, I went and kicked Dhaos butt, even though I wasn't able to complete the better subquests, complete Arche's spells or even get Gremlin and Shadow. Maybe another time. Or if Namco decides to be nice and release it for the PSX. Oh yeah, I put up the ending save state here [link broken]. Hopefully one of these days I can finish the Ranma RPG, SD3 and DQ5, not necessarily in that order.

So I've been playing Hoshigami lately. When I first bought it and tried it out I thought it was a horrible game. It's quite hard, and you will easily die if you don't know what you're doing. Now I realize the reason I was having such a hard time was because I was trying to play it like FF Tactics or Tactics Ogre. Instead, the RAP gauge encourages an entirely different way of thinking. You have to learn how to conserve your RAP, to know how to use the turn sequence properly, when to shoot and when not to shoot, and when to attempt a session. Granted, knowing all this stuff doesn't make the game that much easier -- but I find myself enjoying it once I familiarized myself with the different tactics. Sadly, very few people will be able to appreciate this game. I'm in Chapter 2 and I've already burned 20 hours of game time and probably a lot more in real-time -- I tend to lose battles often. =P

The following web sites are graciously hosting some of my fiction, so be nice and visit them: Icy Brian's RPG Page and Laura's Sailor Moon Shrine [link broken] (although why a SM shrine would have FF fanfiction is beyond me. =)

Last week we saw The Count of Monte Cristo. Two more weeks before Spiderman, and a full month before the next Star Wars movie.

Lastly, and have you ever wondered where you could get RPG Books online [link broken]?

Do it to Julia!

Four days before board exam. Will borrow calculator from Switch. Holiday on Monday.

Edsamail is no longer free. That sucks, and now I have a new e-mail account: roytang (at) softhome (dot) net.

Looks like The Gaming Intelligence Agency is really dead.

Beavers and Ducks

April Fools day today. The Gaming Intelligence Agency says they're shutting down, but it's likely one of their famous AFD pranks.

Board exams coming up next week, Tuesday and Wednesday. I need to borrow a calculator -- the one I have isn't on their list. I really should study more but for some reason I'm really confident. promises to study more

So I applied for a job at ASTI. Sure it's a government place, but I know a lot of guys there and it looks like fun. Interviewed last week, hope they call back.

And so another Holy Week went by uneventfully. Another 8-hour 7th heaven marathon. Another trip to St. Vincent's for confession and way of the cross. So the wheel turns.

Local matinee idol Rico Yan dead at 25 last Good Friday. I'd tell you more about it, but the TV station have already covered the story to death.

I saw the Star Wars trailer! Lots of fighting, and the Jedis look like they're gonna get their butts whupped. Lousy title though.

Movies seen lately: Bandits and Ice Age. Oh, and for the umpteenth time, Austin Powers: TSWSM.

Random Links of the day: Phoenix Genesis